I can be strong to everyone but one person

I am strong.

I mean, I tell myself I'm strong, and I pretend to be.

I do it all the time I forget I was only pretending.

And that's when I know.

I become the strong.

Some people look for love to be strong. To encourage their best self. To make them a better person.

I see differently.

I look for love so I can be weak. I am strong. I already am. I've been strutting my ego for quite some time now. And it's tiring. 

I want a love that will encourage my weakness, not my best. To sigh once in a while. To cry once in a while. 

There are three things I hate the most in this world.

1.) Being seen as weak

2.) Being with the weak

3.) Being weak

Weakness is my weakness. I despise it. That's why I've been carrying an armor most of my life. But I can feel it rusting. I can feel it's weight, dragging me down. I want to rest. I am exhausted. 

I need love that will be my home. A sanctuary. A space I can call my own. A place I can be no one. Because I don't know myself. All I have are versions of another. 

I seek that love. The love that notices my vulnerability, and protects it. Because I can be strong to everyone but one person.