Friday, 23 January 2015

Perhaps I really am the most selfish person in the world.

Perhaps I really am the most selfish person in the world.

I don't like sharing.

Bottom line is, I hate disorganization. I hate when things get out of hand. I hate instability.

I'm like a dog, I mark my territory. I am an advocate of distinction. I think I did mention this on this blog- that I fear to be seen as just a girl. I want to stand out, but not in the same way as other people. If I shine, my light would be on my favorite color. I want people to look at me and not say, "Oh! She's pretty!" but rather "Wow! That girl's different!". I have sought my identity for so long, that I have mastered and protected it. 

So mind me if I don't share. It means I am only protecting what's mine.

It doesn't mean I'm not nice.
It doesn't mean I'm tripping.
It means I know people.
It means I know where it would get me.

I treasure what's mine and mine only. It doesn't matter if it's an object or a person. If like something, I like it all the way. If I like someone, I like him all the way. Because I want to make it mine. I want to make him mine. And by making it mine, it has to look nice. It has to look presentable. And also because I like to brag. I want people to know you're special, and you'd look the part if you're actually taken care of. I want people to be jealous of you. I'm going to sit you on a pedestal for people to admire. But if I share, what would I get? I'd get the loose ends. Because people destroy what's beautiful. And if I like you, you must be the most beautiful of your kind. It's as simple as that. 

People tend to abuse my good nature. And I can't stand being manipulated, or lied to, because both would make me seem weak. Now I did mention that weakness is my weakness. No need to explain there.

So if I let you borrow something of mine, please understand that either A) I'm trying my best to be nice and/or B) I trust you. Do not get on my bad side. I tend to write about people who upset me. Oh here you go... another blog post about you.
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