I hate you a little more everyday.

I hate you a little more everyday, M. It's official. I fucking hate this day, to the core. I hate you. And I know I've said it a million times. But I hate you a billion more. How exactly do you expect me to thrive? My brain is on its limit. This is my everything M. I gave you everything. Why isn't it enough for you? I should be demanding the same from you anyway. You and I share the same blood. If I wasn't a genius, it's because you're not. So stop fucking judging me. Stop fucking telling me I'm not good enough. Stop fucking telling me I do not know stuff, because I do, M. I know shit. In fact, I know more stuff than some people my age. And I bully them, M. I play with them guys because I can, because I know shit and people want my shit. I can make them want my shit. Everyone except you. Your approval and praise used to mean the world to me. But I gave up knowing the fact that it's unreachable. Therefore, I seek it elsewhere. And damn is it fun. Damn is it easy. Playing with people. Manipulating people. Earning their praises. Earning their adoration. Reading people like I'm stripping their very soul. Stealing pieces of their humanity without them knowing. Laughing silently while they glory me. I seek their attention because it's easy. Because you trained me to it. You trained me to pursue praises from you, so I seek praises from people who would be willing to praise me. It offered me exactly what I needed from you: honor. I want you to honor me, M. And these people, they do. They let me in control. They let me bully them. They let me hurt them. They let me play along. They let me do shit because I got them to their necks. Because that's what I am, M. I am strong, I am smart. I know stuff. I am in control. And I can handle myself. And I can not care. I can be whoever I want when you're not around. I can fly, and not come back. And I'll survive. I'll thrive. I can make them want me, because I know you don't.