I left today's session more confused than ever

Let me tell you how things went down today.

So last night it was evident that I was going out of my mind. I woke up feeling the same. Then I preceded there feeling even worse.

I was pretty distracted. And I tried to disguise it by constantly checking my phone as if I'm actually part of an important conversation. I didn't even bother to check if he was pissed. My energy was down to the minimum and we're not even halfway done yet. I was in delusion that he intended to make me suffer. Perhaps he did get pissed.

But to be honest, I didn't mind. I was in a state of blankness. I wanted to end the session but I didn't want to leave yet. I had an exhausting errand ahead. So I was just there, half-doing everything.

He assumed I was hangover, not that I acknowledged it, nor did I deny it. I guess I was glad he saw this as an excuse, and I let it be. I must have misled him along my line of questioning. I think at one point I asked him if hangovers and workouts can go together.

He was engaging, as always, a trait I familiarized myself with for the past week. I wonder if he ever had bad days. He even started a conversation on jogger pants and I shrugged it off. It wasn't entirely my intention but I couldn't bring my mind to formulate a counter-response. I let him talk about his preferences on pants while I construct what to say, to no avail.

I have not decided what to do with him. While I'm still trying to figure him out, I'm also convincing myself not to get too attached. Today is proof it would be difficult to maintain a professional relationship. I tried to act detached, but he was still pretty playful. Could it be part of his "program"? "How to motivate clients 101"?

Whatever the case, I realized I will have no progress whatsoever if I see him everyday. I'll forever be stuck playing along his friendly gestures. Like for instance, just today, we ended up calculating who's taller. One of the other coaches joined in when she said I was taller and that he just appeared taller because of his hair. But he insisted he was the taller one so it led to us proving otherwise. We stood side by side to confirm but he cheated when he tiptoed so we ended up laughing, giggling, and at one point I even imitated him when I told him "STRAIGHT YOUR LEGS!" like he would say when we do regular workouts. He was being too cute I couldn't resist playing along. 

I left today's session more confused than ever. 

Thank goodness our sessions have an expiry date. And when classes start I can get back to my usual self. If I don't see him enough, I'll forget about him for sure. It won't be that hard, right?

Right?

(May he never finds this post)