The huge gap between us

It's been really hard to keep going these days. Every step takes a breath away. Every turn relinquishes every sign of hope. It's hard to see things okay. Just okay. Okay is all I ask for. Okay is okay.

I've spent my energy devising a coup. I started a rebellion within the confines of my comfort zone. But victory is a century away and I'm too selfish not to enjoy the fruits of my angst. War is a continuing crime and I have no means to continue. Fighting has drained enough of my energy.

So I started another plan. It's called "No plans". I'm just going to accept what he can give me and seek no more. I'll relieve myself of anger and just nod along his shortcomings. I'm so tired of stressing out that I've used up all of my reserve. I have no more to give. I have no more to expect.

I'll just live my life. And he will live his. And maybe life pities us in between and we'll cross paths. I'd be with my friends and he'd be with his and we'll approach each other with the expression that says "Hey what are you doing here?" And we'll re-introduce our friends because we don't know each others'. 

We will find comfort in being strangers when we're not together. 

We will grow seedlings in the distance we caused each other. 

And maybe it will bloom and it will distract us from realizing,

the huge gap between us.