Here's a summary

  You never really know where you are until you look away from your phone and stop at the street signs. Life gets too busy that we neglect, and sometimes refuse, to notice where we're heading. Some people get unlucky and they go on for years. By the time they stop, they're dying of old age. Sometimes, life knocks you down and you injure yourself, leaving you without a choice but to stop right then and there. 

That's what happened to me.

Life knocked me out. And then I woke up, although dizzy. The future seemed so bleak at that point so I remained right there, frozen, exactly where I fell. I looked around and that's when I knew, I was lost. I have been lost for a very long time now, and I didn't even know. I was too busy following the trail that somebody else carved for me. The thing is, that's where everyone was going, so I thought it should be the right way. Just now, the poem by Robert Frost crossed my mind, "The Road Not Taken". How ironic. 

But no. I am not heading that way anymore. I am taking control of my body and my brain. I finally understand where I am now, at what mindset I'm at and what stage of maturity I have, to determine how to get to my destination. 

Here's a summary. Everything that I thought I knew, and believed I was doing right, was completely wrong. Earlier this year, I was able to have a conversation with a lady that I now look up to. She's a lot older than me and she told me, "What you know now, they are all concepts. Once you get out there, in the real world, it's way different." 

And it is. 

I used to fight fire with fire. In fact, I found my strength in setting fire wherever I go. I thought that would make me unforgettable. Everything I touch, everyone I meet, I set on fire. I conquered everyone's thoughts, and probably even corrupted. I was reactive. All I did then, was react. I never saw where I was because I kept on going. Nobody was brave enough to stop me.

I'm glad someone did, that someone was able to, at the earliest time. Now I face silent battles. I win silent battles. I learned not to base my decisions based on reactions. I learned to position myself in a perspective where I can see and control the situation, at my own pace. After all it's not just about winning, it's about winning efficiently, without exhausting all the resources. 

I didn't see how far I've come until I actually looked back. I stopped and looked at the street signs. 

And I'm finally on my way.