Let's talk for a little bit. I've never felt so distant with my thoughts until now. They say, "Take the chance. What do you have to lose?" I reply, "Um, I lost the magic." I guess the "what-if" everybody dreads is the same "what-if" keeping me afloat. Maybe "what-if" is my only hope. The same thing that's dragging me out of the bed every morning. But here we go. I guess no more "what-if". I took the chance and I'm faced with the dark side of life. Except this time, it's not a make believe I conjure in my head, it's the real thing.
I come face to face with reality at last and it's here to kill my dream, every last bit of hope I have. I am sick to my stomach.
But oh well, there goes another dream down the trash. I can't even write a proper chapter anymore. Everything feels stuck. I can no longer write and here I am hanging on to my 14 year old dream because the truth is, I fucked up my 28 year old dream.
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