I am finally on the right track.

So I feel the need to document my first week at law school. After all, five years in the future, I may be desperate to find out how the hell did I survive my firsts.

Let's begin.

First time meeting the block. Can I backtrack a bit? I first met the classmates during orientation day. Unlike in my undergrad, this time around, we are obliged to sit down with our block as a whole. From that day on, we were encouraged to be together, at all costs. Our facilitators told us to get to know each other, even forced us to be close already. After all, they said, these are the faces we'll be seeing everyday at law school, with or without tears in their eyes. We will share tears, laughs and embarrassments together. Sooner than later, way before law school actually started, we began nurturing a bond. We began sharing our thoughts and insights online that made it so much easier for us to approach each other on our first day. Literally, it felt like a family. And we've only met each other for a week!

First class. This was the most nerve-wracking of all. Individually, we have our expectations. But none of us knew for real what awaits us. We met up two hours earlier, to ease the tension before classes starts. Also so none of us gets lost on the first day. Everybody was so nervous, I remember, including me. So enter we did the classroom. The Professor was late, which I have observed is a common trait among the majority, but arrived he did anyway. He was intimidating. His posture boosts of pride and years of experience in the industry. Long story cut short, he wasn't that bad. And because of that, all of us were able to shake off the nerves for our second class.

First assignment. Our very first assignments include of course, hundred pages of reading, some challenging research ordeal, and a very thick compilation of case studies. But what struck me the most was the reading. It made me realised reading isn't just reading. It doesn't matter if you've read the whole book. You have to remember it. So when they say one should read a 150 page, it means, (1) reading it thoroughly once, (2) taking down notes the second time, then (3) memorising it the third. So imagine it with me. If one doesn't entertain breaks in between reading, a 150 page read may take around 6 hours or so, but that's not enough. You have to take down notes which takes maybe an hour. Then you have to actually study it. Familiarising is different than remembering every word out of it. I have never come home from school, only to study the entire time before I go back the next day. But you know what I realised? That- it is indeed possible. After all, I take numerous breaks in between. I don't entertain shopping or partying, but taking a thirty minute Facebook break, couple more minutes for Snapchat and Instagram, going out for lunch or dinner - trust me, it is acceptable.

First recitation. Holy mac and cheese! This is worse than reporting for an undergard thesis. Way worse than a panel interview with a job you are applying for. My heart was literally bursting out of my chest. During the orientation, one speaker reminisced her days at law school. She remembered going to classes with her heart ALWAYS beating fast. Never once calm. I finally understood how it feels. It's different from an ordinary recitation. It's not just a part of your grade. It is your grade. You answer, you get a point. You don't, you fail. Literally.

I remember being called for the first time. My brain screeched, "Shit. Shit. Shit." All of a sudden, you forget everything. All the words you've read gets tangled in a web of thoughts. What if. What if. Is this the right answer. Will he ask me to explain. Will I fail this class. I if do, what do I do. Do I really want this. And slowly, your vision starts to blur out.

But then it happens. May it be a silver lining, a lucid interval, or by merely an adrenaline rush. When the professor suddenly throws the question, suddenly your brain shuffles for an answer. Your mind takes over, like it did mine. I may not have given him the RIGHT answer, but at least I've given him answers. And at law school, that's what matters. Never stay in silent. And suddenly, an insufficient answer is more acceptable than a state of blankness.

And when you come home after class, you can say that one way or another, you have survived another day at law school. After all, that's how it is - one day after another, another after the other. Survive four years? I just want to survive tomorrow, and the day next to that. Don't take the burden of law school drown you. Take each day as it comes, approach slowly, and enjoy small accomplishments like this.

First Friday Night Out. Holy crap. How good did this feel. After a long week at law school, going out for a drink felt like redemption. It was one of a kind. It's so much different than hitting Valkyrie on a Saturday with your usual pals. And specifically, ours was definitely unforgettable. I remember being at the back of a pick up truck, blasting EDM on a bluetooth speaker, traversing EDSA free of traffic at 3am, and feeling absolutely free. And for once, I could say I was genuinely happy, when it was all WORTH IT.

xx

I may have announced before how much I felt caged and intimidated by the restraints of life. But for once, I find myself playing with its chains, flipping the lock back and forth into my palms. I feel a certain pride that no 000k salary can reach with.

I am finally inclined to my path.

I am finally here.

I am finally on the right track.