I was quite taken aback when I looked back at a previous conversation. I read the very words I typed in and I got myself wondering what the hell screwed up my head. What made me say all those hurtful words? What made me hate this world so much I've abolished every hope I was left within? The goodness that outshines the bitter taste of injustice must have escaped my breath at the last second.
They say the worse thing that could happen to you is you get hurt.
But it isn't at all the worst.
The worse thing that could happen to you is you get numb.
When you completely lose the desire to fight back.
But it's not like you're quitting either.
Because being numb is like dying but not dying.
It's like going on a permanent sleep.
And choosing it.
Because somehow someplace, sleep becomes the most bearable thing to do.
"The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose."
(James Baldwin)
He unleashed the demon trapped inside my thoughts. He awakened the creature that sleeps in the hum of the constant way of life. He disturbed my troubled soul and now it won't put to rest. It spits fire on everything it touches, with no regards to the choice of his master.
It's a beast.
A monster.
Unable to be tamed.
Unable to be befriended.
And someday someplace somehow, it will consume me.
The heat from his nostrils will burn the face that portrays me.
And I will be looking in the mirror,
And ask "Who did I become"
No answer, but a chuckle,
From the demon within.
Eventually, I will build a fortress,
Compile every beast that roams,
And reign.
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