Everybody wants to be "somebody". When you were a kid what did you tell your uncles and aunties? Perhaps it's customary to ask a child this question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And when that child blurts out "A doctor! A lawyer! An engineer!", people respond with approval. The uncles and aunties would then say to either parent, "Bright kid you have!" But the child overhears this, so he makes up his mind to be exactly as he said. This is the beginning of a blood drenching journey to adulthood.
The thing is, we have prewritten our stress and frustrations ever since we were little. We have laid it down for ourselves before the age of 15. The toys we choose growing up for example. They don't encourage dreams, they encourage order. There is order in the society- a ladder. Study hard and you will succeed. They've been hammering that idea for centuries. But the century changes. There is never enough jobs anyway. Graduates get difficulty finding a stable job, so whatever comes along works. They cage themselves in the hollows of the "I didn't have a choice" mentality. And the easiest way to get out of it, is not get into it in the first place. Study hard? That's old school. Study hard-er, and settle for the generic reason why.
So what happens if you finally reach it? You realize you forgot to ask all the important questions. Why did I do this? Because society said it was to be done? Because my parents instilled such great fear that if I fail my exams I won't graduate then find a job then be happy?
We have been living in such great fear for so long... to fail. Because apparently failing equates to unhappiness and unworthiness. You embarrass your kid self from all the uncles and aunties who have asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up.
Success, there are countless quotations for success. What you're doing now, aren't you aiming for success? Another step up the ladder? I've carried the same baggage since I saw Legally Blonde on the television, and when my Dad started talking about the prestigious career of a Lawyer. Wrong. Success shouldn't be the motivation, because it's always 10 kg heavier. It will weigh you. And when you run out of stamina, you will faint... in the middle of nowhere, with no water to drink and food to digest.
Find happiness. It's as light as feather. Dance with the rhythm of the wind. Play every once in a while. Keep real friends. Build memories. Happiness is not an eternal state. It's not a finish line and you don't race to achieve it. Happiness, they come to us like flashbacks. They're there, but it takes initiative to take them out. Find a way to it on your darkest times and you will be okay. Establish a connection, a pathway for you to meet. Happiness doesn't linger. It has to wander off to be happy. So don't chain him right next to you, or you'll take away everyone else's chance to meet the same.
Along the way, who knows, maybe Happiness stumbles across Success.
Maybe someday you add another meaning to it.
More than just dancing and playing, keeping and building memories, but also find Happiness in the very cage you locked yourself into.
Hun, it's always a cage, there is no other form. Just build yourself one in your favorite color. Or find a key so you can take vacations.
When that happens, then congratulations,
because you have reached your destination.
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