Maybe I'll get over him

He's always in my mind. 

From the time I wake up, 

'til I close my eyes. 

He's everywhere I go. 

He's all I know.

Okay, well, that was a song lyric. But it speaks every adrenaline rush I get when I do think about him. By now he should have subsided, like a fever that goes away after three days. I should have forgotten about his face by now. The memory should be blurry by now. But it's a living thing who has a mind of its own. And when I do forgot about him for a millisecond, he crosses my mind in whatever object or scenario he could represent.

So now when I listen to edm, I think about him. 

So now when I order food from the menu, I think about him. 

So now when I walk on the dark, I think about him.

So now when I see a man in all black, I think about him.

So now when I see his haircut on someone else, I think about him.

So now when I sleep, I dream about him.

I should have asked for his name for starters. I thought of doing so for so many times during the party. But I don't understand why I didn't do it. I must have believed he was just a temporary thought. I was determined to keep it that way so my instincts literally saved me from a future interaction with him. But now I regret it. I regret it over and over because I'm hanging tight on an invisible thread. Now I am scared to admit he's just a temporary thought.  I don't want him to be just a temporary thought. But the ground is so far off I can't reach it without letting go.

So now I'm just waiting.

Maybe the world would notice my distress and send for help.

Maybe the world would send reinforcement.

Maybe the world would allow us a second meeting.

Or maybe not.

Maybe the world wouldn't care.

Maybe the world wouldn't bother with the trouble.

Maybe the world wouldn't allow a second meeting.

Maybe I'll get over him.

Maybe I won't.