I don't want to be strong anymore

I don't want to be strong anymore.

What's the point to all of this?
Whether I live or die, it doesn't matter.
I have no reason to live, really.
I don't even know what I want,
What I'm supposed to do,
What I'm supposed to become,
I am just a lost kid with food and shelter.
Like a rebel without a cause.
I have no purpose.
I have no intention.
I have nothing to live for.
I am just existing.

My Mom will recover.
My brother wouldn't even remember.

All the people I pushed away wouldn't give a fuck.
And all the people I pushed to stay will eventually not give a fuck.

Maybe I'm not supposed to be happy.
Maybe I'm just supposed to be hurt.
Maybe I'm just supposed to kill myself.