Where do we go from here?

Okay. This blog is quickly turning into a 16 year old girl's diary with nothing but scribbles of her crush's name all over it.

But whatever.

Let's go with the recap of yesterday, unfiltered.

Last Friday, he invited me to tag along this event outside the gym. It is still fitness related so I thought it was fine-okay-whatever. I was hesitant to go because you know me, I'm lazy. But I got nothing better else to do, so I took it. Saturday came and I went to the gym for my regular workout.

Everyone there seems to be enjoying my hugot self but I like it. I like that we've developed some sort of friendship over the past month. Everyone is casual around me and I truly appreciate it. I always had to adjust when other people get intimidated to talk to me. So I'm quite glad people at this gym don't mind teasing me.

At first it was just casual teasing. They make "sakay" of my hugot lines and we laugh in chorus. But recently I find that their teasing may mean something else. I would notice certain exchange of "looks" between them, and every "sakay" started to sound figurative.

Let me cite examples:

1.) We were doing some exercise and my view was blocked by him. He was facing another coach seated across us and I saw that she was signaling at him. When he looked back, there goes one of his clients and it seemed like he took a picture of us or something.

2.) One of the coaches, while we were chatting, excused himself to grab something at our table and looked a certain way at him as though he was saying, "I'm sorry for intruding your moment".

3.) A certain line at the song "Despacito" was emphasized by one of the coaches while he was passing us and it goes "Paborito". He almost shouted the word at him, possibly means I'm his favorite client.

This event that he invited me to, apparently I was a tag along. They co-hosted the event and I was the only client there. At first it was really awkward, but I managed to pull through. What's amazing is, he constantly checked up on me. I felt like a guest of honor, but I also felt out of place because I wasn't supposed to be there.

He and I didn't really spent time together during the event but it felt like he was around at all times. I can feel his gaze everytime, and I appreciated that he truly tried to stay as close to me as possible. Imagine, he was the host, but he walked among the crowd. He made sure we watched the "fireworks display" together. Whether that was his intention, I trully appreciated it. I was a bit torn because I made some new friends and I didn't want to leave them, but he was buzzing around me like a boyfriend. Numerous times, I caught his gaze directed at me, He made me somewhat safe, like I'm protected from the crowd and no one can harm me. I got some guy talking to me, but he backed off right away when he saw him approach me. Partly I felt bad because he was like my personal assistant who kept my phone at bay, who constantly had to make sure I'm "fine".

And then it was time to leave and he right away initiated dinner. He also invited me for coffee and I believe this is where I saw the other coach smirked. I thought it would be all of us, like a celebratory dinner after a long day, but it ended up just the two of us. I remember overhearing his comment when one of the coaches asked if he could just eat at the gym because he had "baon", and without hesitation he just nodded and said "yes, eat at the gym".

So we ended up debating where to eat and it took a while but we finally found one. I wasn't carrying my wallet because he told me I wouldn't need it. So I casually asked him to make pautang. What I sort of expected was that he wouldn't accept me paying him back. I tried to push on it, but he gave me the most appropriate reason ever. He said, "No it's my treat. I made you come." He even apologized and thanked me. Who does that?

I was surprised at how open he was with me. He told me about his couple tattoo and his goals, his struggles, his family, his past relationships, and his pain. He even told me he smokes, which came out of nowhere. It was weird because normally I would be the one to hold the conversation. I needed to tell my story so there's someone talking between us. But last night it was just him, and I was just listening.

I was just listening.
I was just tagging along.
I was just following.

Everything is new.
And I am awed.

So we had coffee afterwards and this is where I insisted we take separate bills. I thought it would just be  a "Let's buy coffee and bid goodbye" but he was like "No, let's have it here". We ended up at the parking lot at the back of my car drinking coffee talking about his life. It was bizarre how it all wrapped up. It was as if he was different, a little hard to believe he was my "coach". I guess I just never really talked to him outside the gym.

Now we're left wondering if there is a next time.
With the question, "Where do we go from here?"