Is he playing me or am I playing him

Is he playing me?
Or am I playing him?

I don't even know what I want. He challenged me, so I paid attention. I craved him because I can't keep him around. All I have is misinterpretations. I can't paint him without restarting over and over.

I want him because I can't have him. Because normally, I wouldn't settle for a guy like him. I'd be on a trip to the mall, adding another shade to my lipstick collection.

I'm not even sure I want a relationship. I just want him. After all, I'm still too lazy to commit. So whatever this is I'm doing, am I just playing him? Am I still in the game?

What happens after I get him? Am I really prepared to jump? Do I really want to? I didn't stop to think about it and that is the problem. I've devised a strategy to get him, but for what purpose?

Why?

For what?