Friday, 5 October 2018

Thoughts this morning


  • How can I paint the future when the future does not exist?
  • I am an artist in constant ridicule of my lover.
  • I am suppressed by his unfamiliarity and inability to understand my art.
  • It should be easy to love you but it isn't.
  • I've let go of my creativity because it's something he doesn't understand. Instead, I sought after things he could understand.
  • Now I realized I probably faked my way in. And everyday is a reminder that I don't belong. I don't understand half of the stuff that's happening and he refuses to slow down and teach me.
  • I didn't let go of my art. My art let go of me. It slipped away while I got busy. Like a lover, it found someone else worth its time and left my dry.
  • Now when all else failed and all I seek is my art, it cannot be found.
  • Where do I start to retrace my steps?
  • I was fixated in keeping him interested that I, myself, have lost the interest to continue.
  • I used to ask this to a lot of people,

"Why do you settle?" Normally they couldn't find the answer. But considering my fairly decent-sized vocabulary, I can. So I asked myself, "Why do I settle?" Because I still can.
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