Wednesday, 17 June 2020

#INNERMONOLOGUE: I can do it again

Today I woke up and I wasn't feeling too well emotionally. The thought of deleting Instagram once again crossed my mind. It's been ages since I last struggled to fit in, but here we go again. I feel detached from my own world, and my feet are hovering off the ground. I got just one thing holding me back and I'm scared that I'll lose the same thing too and I'll just be floating around. I want to set foot in a different territory, and start over. 

I sit here and drown, but I pull myself back before I completely lose myself in there. I have these issues. I feel betrayed. I feel left out. But then again, I look at the bigger picture and I realize I don't want to fit in anyway. Everything that shines deserve friends that shine. And everyone in my life right now, I feel like, they just weigh me down. 

I just,
I feel misplaced. Lost amongst strangers that I once called my friends.

Why am I feeling so sad when I deserve so much more than what they can offer. I don't need this type of vibe. I was once a resident of this dark hole. But I managed to recover and I found my own voice. I built myself from ground up and I succeeded. I cannot believe I'm back where I started just because I believed the evil voices in my head telling me that I don't belong anymore. I succumb to my insecurities just like that because of an Instagram Story, from a person I don't even like, and more so respect. 

Why am I so bothered by this? I am a gem and I shine wherever I go. I can find new friends. I can start over. I did it all before. I can do it again.


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