I don't know. For this week, I think I prefer to have a conversation instead of a Q & A.
This week was a challenge. Remember that post where I addressed my future self, knowing well enough that in the middle of this semester I will definitely fuck it up? Well, this week was a start. First of all, the entire week comprised of parties and whenever I break momentum like that, I find it hard to go back. And then my new tenant moved in and that means, new requests and demands. More of "requiring my attention." I can't possibly find the skill to do both. I always end up worrying about the other. I believe this exact thing will be my downfall. How can I survive in the real world like this? I worry even more.
But hopefully this week, the clouds part. Except for the fact that He might come back to the city and here we go again. I'm so scared to be distracted. I don't want to worry but how exactly do you tell yourself not to do that? If practice and experience helps, then I've had a decade of exposure already and yet I'm so far from being an expert.
I also can't believe I'm admitting this, but I'm struggling financially. Not in a way where I'm absolutely left with nothing. I'm just sad because I couldn't find spare money to spend in something I like. I always end up paying for bills and emergency repairs. Lately, I've chosen to buy review books too. I mean, it's just sad. I envy my 22 year old self, so much. But like what my Mom told me, that's how it is actually, this "adulting" that everybody dreads. I just wish, yet again, I could do both. Handle my responsibilities and also enjoy a little bit by buying what I like once in a while.
All that is good these days is BTS giving me so much joy.
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