My bad luck

 I have this bad habit of wearing my "bad luck" on my sleeve.

"Easy" to me is unattainable. Since crossing over to adulthood, everything to me seemed difficult. I soon associated the word "difficult" to reality. Everything should be difficult, otherwise, it cannot be true. I have never felt good luck on my side. And if it does brushes path with mine, I look the other way.

If getting something comes easy, I must have not worked hard for it, or their standards must be low. I have stayed below the shoreline for a while now that I can no longer recognize the light.

Is this truly the sunlight? Or is it someone just pointing their flashlight at me? Only to tease me? To test me? So I can work harder? Because only then it becomes real.