I guess this is how you describe it, feeling "overwhelmed"

 I feel so overwhelmed. I guess I needed Lilah Gran to take over. Graduation is nearing and there is that persistent thought disturbing me. "What if I don't graduate.. again?" Before I can even entertain the familiar aching feeling in my stomach, I brush it off. I take a deep breath and refuse the opportunity to think negatively. 2023 will be my year. Yet haven't I heard it all before? 2022 started the same. I keep second doubting myself and this constant see-saw of perspective is what is draining me. I've always been the worst case scenario type of girl. This is how how I approach life, by anticipating pain. So whatever comes my way, couldn't be any worse than the one I made up in my head. After all I'm a storyteller. I tell the best stories. My version is always the extreme. I know this is a toxic trait, but I'm sick of pretending it doesn't exist either. 

I am feeling everything, down to the friction of atoms. I'm not a scientist so I guess I can generalize this by whatever progressive chemical reaction happening out there. If it makes a sound, I can hear it clearly. If it produces smell, I can smell it clearly. If it creates color, I can see it clearly. Every vibration is magnified by all of my senses and I just can't function. I can't hear anything else. I can't see anything else. This sensation multiplied by a thousand in snowball effect as the end approaches. I guess this is how you describe it, feeling "overwhelmed". 

The most unfortunate thing is that the only way out of here is through it. I cannot avoid this any longer. Life is here to take control. I have been in slumber long enough.