To be a 'fan of music' seem to be an understatement

 To be a 'fan of music' seem to be an understatement. I don't know why I take music seriously more than anyone I know. Initially I thought it comes with being a teenager. Getting lost in the realm of music seemed rebellious enough. But the interest lingered. Until I started asking the question. "Why do I like music so much?" In traditional Lilah Gran fashion, I started to overthink the question. "Like" seemed like an understatement. I don't just "like" music. Many people like music. But they don't dissect music like I do. Saying "I love music" is even worse. It sounds like an exaggeration. It sounds like fake flattery, like I'm trying to impress the God of music. And I'm far from impressing anybody. 

When people ask me what type of music I listen to, I stutter. I don't have an answer. The most common response is "It depends". On the mood. On the season. I listen to all types of music because I'm not just a fan of classical music, or of pop music, and of rock. I am a fan of music itself. I am interested in the process, in the interpretation, in its history, and even in its industry.

Music is art. It requires an audience. And I'm its perfect audience. I don't just peek, I dive. I dissect. I process. I absorb. I interpret. Generally, I like things that allow me to judge. Otherwise, everything starts to feel textbook. It starts to feel like everything about my childhood. Maybe that's why the most troubled kids become artists. They seek to be in control of their own judgment. And music is the most convenient form of art. For many years, music has been distributed for free consumption. It is accessible. Unlike art. To see an art show requires money. But to listen to music, requires nothing. Consequently, I loathe music that demands payment. I condemn music that is purely business. I follow its source, not its destination. So when a singer simply sings and does not create, I follow the creator, not its presenter.

Many has fallen victim to money making type of music where art gets lost in the distribution process. It's fun to look for artists. Like a scavenger hunt, I seek to find my next favorite artist.