It wasn't an exaggeration

 I went under fire the last couple of days. Now that is the exaggeration. It's safe to say that it was a spark, but enough to cause fire any day from now. The only question is, do I want it to? 

I've been a fan of BTS for a while now. Although I cannot attest to others' experience, mine is as real as it can get. The boys are special to me because they not only represent music, they represent hope, ambition, and hard work. I will not spend words convincing people that I am, because love does not need proof.

Before I dove into BTS, I had my fare share of biased judgment. I was quick to form my opinion, based on what I see from social media. And in that environment, BTS ARMY leads. I have read many threads and witnessed people fighting over BTS, some groundless. The only barrier that separated me from becoming a fan was the fans. Initially, I thought the fans were narrow-minded, blindly following an artist without actively dissecting their work. Of course, I found myself wrong... in some aspect.

I surrounded myself by members of the fandom who are smart, open-minded, and respectful. That's why in the many music releases they've put out since I became a fan, I was confident enough to comment on the ones I don't like, respectfully of course. I am very passionate about the things I like and the people I follow. But never once I blindly supported something I cannot justify or explain. Many may know me as a Michael Jackson fan, and I will forever defend him against biased judgment. However, when people ask me if he bleached his skin, I will not immediately attack the person, because his question was valid. It wasn't disrespectful at all. I will answer according to what I know. Yes, he did, but there is a reason. If you want to know about it, listen to what I have to say first and let me finish. Only then I'll listen to your input. That to me, is a discussion. It's an exchange of ideas and opinion that may or may not align. Getting to know BTS Army, they earned my respect. There was a time that I would have defended them as vigorously as BTS, until I changed my mind.

I recently uploaded a Book Discussion on the new BTS Book, Beyond the Story. I have been reading books for years and although niche, Youtube has a community for book enthusiasts where people freely review books. This is a healthy environment, as people are free to say that they liked or disliked a book. In the same community, there is always varying opinion. Book ratings are seldom the same for each reader. The reason I title my videos Book Discussion instead of a Book Review is because it sounds friendlier. Book Review sounds too rigid. Book Discussion welcomes conversation. I was confident to put out my Book Discussion on the new BTS Book because I believed that BTS Army will actually listen. Few did. If you happen to watch the video, you'd notice that I did not attack BTS at all. In fact, I discussed the book as I would any other book. And it was bad, only because I have over 100 books to compare it to. Actually, while I was reading the book, I looked up reviews online, expecting similar observations. If you look at the comments on Goodreads, most if not all of it comes from fans, and none actually discussed the book as a book but instead discussed the book as BTS. 

I'm surprised that nobody saw what I saw because my observations are quite in fact obvious. I did not even go deeper than the actual text. Normally, I'd dive into the application and its relation to deeper subjects in life. I didn't even go there because the surface level is already problematic. Yet fans saw this as an attack and immediately formulated their counter-attack. I was in defensive mode. I hate that I have to walk around eggshells around Army, afraid to stir another drama. 

I am disappointed because maturity doesn't reflect on both sides. Whatever BTS is fighting against, Army is unintentionally promoting. RM once took criticism and worked around it. I wish people would do the same. Now unfortunately, I have this heavy weight on my heart whenever I talk about BTS. Don't get me wrong. BTS will always be special to me and I will never leave their side. But I think I'm stepping back a little bit from defending Army. Not that it matters anyway. My voice is a hum in a chamber of echoes. No one will hear me, and I'd like for it to stay that way. 

I hope this does not get views as usual. This is my space. This is my head.

P.S. The video title is not an exaggeration, the book is really bad. But did I use the title for clickbait? Of course. That's social media in retrospect, a realm of clickbaits. I'm surprised that you were. So did I use BTS for views? Of course I did, just like I used the food I eat, the places I go to, the clothes I buy, the pain I go through, the story I heard, and the books I read, for views. It's called experience. And that's what I do, I share experience.