Here's the latest development

Here's the latest development:

Holy crap this is getting realer by the next date after another. So last night we had dinner and coffee, the perfect combination. I was impressed he offered to dine away from the gym vicinity. I figured it's only appropriate. I suppose we couldn't get risked being spotted together. Although there is no particular rule prohibiting it, sharing dinner with a client is probably the last thing a coach should do.

I decided to tell him my dilemma with law school. I didn't think it was necessary but seeing how close we've gotten in the past weeks, I thought he ought to know, especially since I plan to keep him around. It was embarrassing for me, but I appreciated that he listened intently. He never broke eye contact. I am still sensitive with the topic, but I'm not exactly depressed anymore. Regardless, I appreciate his trying to make me feel better.

Afterwards, I immediately felt like I needed to break the ice. I always struggle opening up. I often feel paranoid as if they're judging me or I disappointed them somehow. Initially people assume I'm that strong independent woman, so I worry when I show cracks of my vulnerability.

I noticed a few points that made me quite eery. Like when I casually brought up a drinking session with my friends, he frankly said, "ayoko nga". And then while we were at Starbucks, he went to the restroom  real quick and upon returning, offered to leave right away. I would usually assume he needed to sleep early (obviously), but that night I'm being paranoid. And finally when we said goodbye, I tried to lean in for a beso, but he refused. I was taken aback. He said he doesn't want me to smell him (because he just smoked). Perhaps that's the truth, but that night I convinced myself it was a lie. I just felt like something turned him off, whether that be our conversation earlier was uncertain.

That same night I asked him if it was normal to have dinner with his clients. He said no. He said, "I'm usually arrogant. I don't know why when it's with you, it's different. Maybe because you make me laugh." or something along that sentence. But that was before I opened up.

I mentioned driving a little farther from the gym, but ironically we were seen together. While having dinner, someone appeared out of nowhere and blurted out "Leg day?" It was a familiar face. I have spoken to him at the gym, and we know each other just fine. But that night, it felt like I was caught cheating. I turned my head down and pretended that I didn't know him. I didn't even say hi, when usually I'm that bubbly girl at the gym. And then my main repeatedly said "You didn't see me here". It was cute to me, but I find myself slightly worried for him. I suppose it's more prohibiting than I imagined. Maybe I'm putting him into trouble. But this was also before I opened up.

I suppose I understand why the sudden mood change.