This is getting realer by the second

This is getting realer by the second. Ask me just a month ago and I wouldn't have guessed it. I would have laughed hysterically while secretly being kilig. When I started this game, I didn't expect it to be this intense. At the corner of my thoughts I suppose I saw it all as a summer thing. And the moment I get lazy, I can easily run away from it. But it entered my life and decided to stay put. It found a place in my routine. And it fit just right. Now I find myself catching up to it instead, dragging it along with me back to law school. 

Last night was incredible and scary at the same time. I can't believe he encouraged my cravings for samgyeopsal. I made him eat pork and what's even worse is that I made him drink alcohol. For his type, it truly is remarkable to see him outside his "strict" diet. One soju ended up two. Our first hour at the restaurant was pretty tame, but the alcohol worked its way and soon we found ourselves tipsy. 

Coffee afterwards was even better. Still tipsy, we talked about the most mundane of things, until one of us brought up a beer session. It was the last thing I thought he'd be up to. Perhaps it was the soju speaking, but he was actually game for it. This is where things got a little intimate. Because we can't actually drink inside the convenient store, we shared the beer inside the car. I can't remember everything we talked about, but we sure talked about a whole lot. And towards the end he asked if I would accompany him to his house to pick up his things for his scuba diving trip the next day (which was only a couple hours away. no sleep yey). I agreed and he immediately wrapped his arms around me. I was taken aback but I didn't actually push him away. I guess he saw it as approval and made more attempts later that night (or morning).

On the way to his house we had another coffee session and holy shit at this point I was desperately wishing for time to take a pause. He finally opened up about his worries on our career levels. He told me he wants to open up a gym and leave Anytime Fitness. He asked me what will I do then. I freaked out a little when he said he's considering working abroad to fit in on a higher category. He also asked me if I would wait for him when the time comes. I was struck. He told me I was actually his motivation to get back into competing.  Yeah, we talked about a lot. At one point I think he even promised me he'll be consistent with his efforts. 

I wanted to clarify our "status" but I needed to clear my head first. He opened up to me entirely and I was shook. How could a potential "summer fling" end up this freaking intense. I can't bring my mind around it. And I panicked.

We reached his house and I finally met his other bestfriend. He drove us to the bus station and there I he started to act significantly different. He was more touchy, like he would put his around me when he's speaking to me. And then he would randomly reach for a cuddle. I don't know what that night meant to him, because I can't figure it out myself. 

I don't know where this is going anymore.

And I don't know if I like where it's going.

All I know is,

I don't want to stop.