Confessions of a PT's GF: It’s called “Forever”

I revisit my thoughts every now and then, hopeful to create a good poem for you. I always end up stuck at some word, leaving me with a blank stare and an empty page. I pressure our relationship for inspiration. I wondered what’s wrong. Why couldn’t I sum up this feeling?

This dilemma may suggest a different interpretation. I am in love. Most importantly, I am comfortably in love. Awkwardness becomes too familiar to me when somebody get too close. I feel a pit on my stomach so I hurry to escape. I leave them behind denying the fact that they existed in the first place. This has been my heart’s routine for years.

And then he came along. Suddenly, my whole life reprogrammed. I get new installations all at once and I’m too quickly to document progress. I wanted it to be special so I wanted to write it down. I wanted to remember how it started. But so much has happened in too little time that compiling it into a page is certainly impossible. And I no longer entertain demands from my brain to jot down everything. I’d rather much enjoy every moment I spend with him and trust that my brain preserves it in its memory department.

I still have my reservations. I am still too scared to completely give myself away. But more than 60 days together and piece by piece he is discovering every detail of my secrets. I am scared on the possibility that he can use it against me, not like he will, but like he can. And giving him this capacity to break me, scares me.

He is the most caring person I’ve ever encountered and it is quite impossible not to fall for him. I find it hard to believe that people would take advantage and leave. Likewise I am glad, for it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have met him. I wouldn’t have had the chance to fall for him.

I’m beginning to like him too much, I believe. It gets harder to stay away each time. Everyday it kills me not to tell the world about it. For a storyteller, I find this very suffocating,

I am still learning the ropes of commitment. Many times I get confused at this whole ordeal but luckily he still chose to stay. I can never thank him enough for the understanding he willingly offers while being with me. That goes unpaid.

I like that you are strong. But I love that you allow me to be strong with you.

I like that you are kind. But I love that you allow me to recognize kindness in the first place.

I like that you are adventurous. But I love that you allow our adventures to wait.

I like that you are in love. But I love that you allow me to love you my own way.

Our pair may seem unconventional for many and sometimes I sit down pondering why.

A hand select may even question our (own version) of forever and sometimes I sit down pondering why.

But maybe there are no Why’s.

Maybe there’s just You and Me.

So Baby I know you believe in me.

And trust me I also believe in me.

I believe that you believe.

I believe because you believe.

That I am here to stay.

And we are meant to stay.

They better be buying my next bestseller.

It’s called “Forever”.