#nowwatching: LIMITLESS

I've been watching this series I randomly found on Netflix and it's called "Limitless". The premise of the story is about this normal kid, possibly a failure at life, who managed to get access to a superdrug called NZT which allowed him to access 100% of his brain capacity, thereby making him a genius. And then he ends up working for the FBI.

When I was a kid, there was a newscaster by the name of Ernie Baron. He tackled the weather forecast. He had this slogan, "Knowledge is power" and after all this time, I think I only just uncracked its potential meaning.

I always knew education is important. I was raised by it, with it, into it, just like you. I was taught that if I study and graduate, I will do better in life. And there I thought it was the meaning of the slogan. If I study and graduate and find a job and get promoted, then I become powerful. Later on I realized it doesn't mean exactly that way. And this epiphany, this intellectual intervention only came to me upon watching a mere TV show by the name of "Limitless".

There was a scene, a dialogue, where one of the lead characters spoke, "I'd always wondered what it was like for Brian, when he was on NZT. I figured he felt numb, like a human calculator. I was wrong. Every part of you feels alive, open, the air crackles with information. You breathe it like it's oxygen. It's as if you've been running with weights on for your entire life, and suddenly you took them off and this was the way you always were meant to be. I knew now why it was so addicting." And then it hit me, because I knew exactly what she meant. And I think that is the true meaning of power.

Knowing the law. Studying the law. Understanding the law. It's like knowing, studying, and understanding how the world works. And once I knew how it works, living in it, becomes easy. I keep reading people's minds, observing people's actions, and encoding people's words. I thought, this is probably what it means to be alive. To see things from a macro perspective. It's like reverse engineering scenarios as it happens. I can foresee things before it enravels and I base my reactions through that. I can tell when my words are going to backfire so I choose not to say it at all. I can feel people's moods and I base my tone through that. I can tell bad timing from good timing. I can manipulate some of the things around me to go exactly where I want, and worse, to stay exactly where I want. I place them there so they provide me the exact gravity pull I need to keep afloat. 

It's not exactly a bad thing. I am not planning to murder or rob somebody. But it's a nice feeling. To know things from a unique perspective. To feel power in the real sense. To feel knowledge like a power. And like "Limitless" said, it is so addicting. And the thing is, there is no other way to interpret this power and to receive it in a more tangible way rather than mere confirmation, acceptance, and praise. When constantly you get adored for predicting things that turn out to be true eventually, you get high. So this is how it feels, to be in love with the same thing that ruins you at the same time.

I know because I can tell. Like all things in life, power comes with complications, and  sometimes even collateral damage.